Eat Your Greens!

Plant, swallowed by a tip/dumpsterSo you are tired of your tree? Sick of all the WATERING?

All the pouring of water, the dampening of soil, and the decreasing of naturally dry dirt surface area bringing you down?

Are you just too poncy and lazy to water your plants, and nothing else?

Getting carpral tunnel from lifting a water jug once a week?

Feeling the pressure of a commitment, the hard core suffocation of being sucked into a long-term relationship with a palm you hardly know?

Don’t worry! Freedom is at hand!!! You can take control of your life again!

Just toss that unwanted life form into the nearest bin!

Why waste precious TIME and energy on follow-through or unwanted obligations? The City of Westminster’s spacious and accomodating Big Black Bins take any sort of wildlife plant! The bin, in fact, we think actually BENEFITS from your ridiculous inability to care for nauture. Compost, studies show, help break down garbage faster!

So when in London, do as the Londoners do: Toss your living trees in the trash! After all, those silly garden/farm folk can always grow more!

Elizabeth Howard

Elizabeth writes literary non-fiction, haiku, cultural rants, and Demand Poetry in order to forward the cause of beautiful writing. She teaches and speaks about the rhetorical impact of beautiful writing. A recent transplant to Connecticut, she calls London, Kansas City, and Iowa home.

 

  2 comments for “Eat Your Greens!

  1. Electric Eskimo
    January 4, 2007 at 10:29 am

    Did you rescue it?

    I do feel sorry for abandoned plants. I’ve seen many a restaurant which has gone bust with the dying plants left behind. The ones in your photo look big (and therefore expensive).

    Like you blog, BTW.

  2. e-e baby
    January 4, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    I didn’t rescue it… just little ole me and no way to get it out. I feel guilty about leaving it behind!

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