Sexy Ballerinas & Sweaty Marky Mark

Bookmark and Share

Superman SlaveOr, Why I Won’t Tell You that this is “A Post About BLEEPinism,” Because If I Did You Wouldn’t Read It

Why don’t more “enlightened” men talk about their role in gender and family issues?” was a question I recently posed as my Facebook status.

I received two comments, neither from men.

However, when I asked “Which movie I should go see, “Black Swan” or “The Fighter?”” it sparked a raucous debate almost instantly with over 25 comments from men, women, gays, lesbians and straights, discussing issues ranging from Oscar-worthy performances to hot ballerinas and sweaty Marky Mark.

Joke to Lighten the Mood (Albeit Temporarily):

An old guy walks into an adult video store.
He walks up to the shopkeeper and asks:
“Excuse me sonny. Which aisle can I find the internet porn?”

Haha. Yes, I did, indeed write that joke myself.

An old guy from my church keeps sending me email forwards.

The most recent one I wished I didn’t open was entitled “Men Are Just Happier People.”

It is full of jokes that are the sort of jokes that if you said them in mixed company, they would elicit groans or eye rolls from “certain women” (you know the types… those feministy ones who never stop yapping and don’t know their fucking place!). Said eye rolls would then be followed by some righteous man-dude saying: “Oh for Crisssake! Lighten up, will ya? It’s a JOKE!”

Here’s an excerpt from this email, “Men are Just Happier People“:

“EATING OUT

  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
  • FUTURE

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
  • SUCCESS

  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  • MARRIAGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.”
  • Uh oh. The secret is out! Here comes me and my saggy boobs!! I gotcha though! Married and you are STUCK! Joke is ON YOU! I guess this is good enough excuse to start shopping for porn, naturally.

    This kind of needling against women exhausts me. What is the point?

    In America, we live  behind the facade that gender equality exists. Guess what? It doesn’t and most men don’t want it.

    In fact, everyday we watch horrific representations of women on television that tell us that women are objects: to either be consumed, ridiculed, blamed, or tossed in the trash.

    If a child fails, it is the mother’s fault. If a woman is raped, we need to find out how she provoked her attacker. If a woman uses her body to earn money, we hire her, we worship her, then we arrest her, or if she dares to get old, we upgrade — either physically or psychologically (with porn).

    Seth Meyers and his writers are particularly bad about this. Make a list sometime and tape it next to your TV during SNL — “consumed, ridiculed, blamed or tossed in the trash.” You’ll see how badly female characters are treated on SNL since Tina left.

    If we believe the media, girls need to be rescued by men. From whom? From the evil women who know them and obsess about hurting them: stepmothers,step sisters, peddler women in disguise, evil fairy godmothers, Snow Queens, Cruellas, and even one waywardly enormous octopus.

    In life we have some balance. Maybe we hear sometimes by real heroes that women are not just women but PEOPLE, capable of being more than just a womb and boobs. Maybe those people are teachers and parents and ministers and friends. Maybe they say more: that we are CAPABLE and lovable and good.

    Is that message loud enough? NO!

    Too many girls bathe in the successful messages of marketing — PRINCESS, GIRLY GIRL, PINK — which is reiterated in Barbies and the logos and flotsam of stuff carried as billboards on the backs of their friends and families who all have too much time, too much money, and nowhere near enough thoughtfulness about the impact of CRAP on the lives of small minds.

    That’s the worse sin: the ignorance. Which goes to the heart of the families. If a MAN is so happy with one pair of shoes, why doesn’t he pass that joy on to his DAUGHTERS as well as his sons? I wish I knew why.

    Men, boys, dads, brothers-- you guys who are just as happy wearing burlap as Beau Bromley — what the hell are you doing? Why don’t you care? Tell me why ignoring the plight of your sisters and turning your head makes you “happier.” Because I don’t understand it. Not one bit.

    Elizabeth Howard

    Elizabeth writes literary non-fiction, haiku, cultural rants, and Demand Poetry in order to forward the cause of beautiful writing. She teaches and speaks about the rhetorical impact of beautiful writing. A recent transplant to Connecticut, she calls London, Kansas City, and Iowa home. 

    Tags:

      5 comments for “Sexy Ballerinas & Sweaty Marky Mark

    1. February 8, 2011 at 3:47 pm

      Good stuff! Let me add my own pet peeve – when the mother goes out and the father “babysits.” Oh, it irritates the hell out of me that it is referred to as “babysitting.”

      • February 8, 2011 at 4:28 pm

        Amanda, my husband is very involved in the kids and we are partners in the child raising… but I ask people to continue to ask the question: if women are 50 percent of our external workforce, why are we still patting men on the back for raising their own children?

    2. February 8, 2011 at 8:51 pm

      I mostly disagree! If you want 95% of the commercials on TV it’s the man that is made to look stupid! On almost all serious shows the man has become the trash guy while the woman is the hero.

      I’ll admit that there are some pretty trashy comedy’s but for the most part the male is the moron while the woman is made smart and level headed.

      Men are trucks – we have been told that all of our lives – woman are flowers. I guess the woman want to be trucks while the men don’t want to be flowers.

      You are dead wrong Liz – sorry on this one! You are only looking for things the facts you want to believe.

      You are grouping “men” into one big bucket to make yourself feel better when in reality that is not the case.

      Is there equality? no – but where it’s unequal is not always the way you are portraying. Many times it’s the complete opposite of your angry views.

      • February 23, 2011 at 5:36 pm

        Rod, I just found this comment in the spam queue! How did you get there?
        I am asking you WHY are men told they are trucks and women are flowers? Why do you assume that women want to be trucks but men don’t want to be flowers. I know a fair number of guys who embrace their flowery selves. I am glad to here in some places it is completely opposite of the way I see it. But in most of the world it isn’t.

    3. February 12, 2011 at 10:12 am

      In my life, I make it a point to speak against stereotype whenever I hear it. I don’t accept and move on after hearing terms like “cunt”, “fag”, “nigger” and the like. I call people out on it. People who know me have come to expect it. If each takes a moment to discourage negative talk, we can all continue moving forward. No matter how uncomfortable the “confrontation” may be, I speak my peace (piece?). I never cease being amazed when I find out that someone didn’t even consider my point when they blurted out whatever ignorant thing I’ve spoken against. Most think twice the next time and are more conscious of the fact that words have meaning.

    Comments are closed.