I don't feel like a constant. I feel like super balls in a thunderstorm.
It’s all too easy to put off loving where we are until everything is perfect. What can you love about where you are now?
Blergh. If I were a weather man, that’s how I would describe the weather today. Cold, damp, rainy, grey.
It’s all about the view. I look out my window and what I see is the weather.
“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” — Pema Chodron
This author — Pema Chodron — is one person I come back to all the time. Because she writes compassionately and purposefully about a mindful life, one that travels along the “middle way.”
There’s a great deal of Buddhist lingo and philosophy in what she writes, but often what her writings come back to, for me, is about BEING PRESENT, RIGHT NOW.
I arrive at my desk everyday. My desk has all sorts of crap on it. Everyday, it’s like a potpourri. You never know WHAT you will find here. Oh, hello! There’s my reading glasses.
I have to interact with my life everyday. It changes. I am the only constant.
However, I don’t FEEL like a constant. I feel like a careening roller coaster of super balls in a thunderstorm.
But still, I am. I may age or break an ankle or partake in a mood swing. But I am.
To Suit the Weather
So, here I am, looking out this window.
It’s me again. Wearing different clothes today, to suit the weather.
It’s been a long road for me to arrive at a kind of “self-acceptance” but I have, to tell the truth. Yes, I have!
When I return to my hometown, where people remember me differently, who do I take with me? Is it that “flakey, fragile, victim” I used to be?
No. In point of fact, I take this person. ME. BOOM!
AND, in point of fact, I ALSO TAKE the realization that I was NEVER was that flakey, fragile victim. That was a story I wrote at the time, to protect myself from perceptions that weren’t real.
Clothes that suited the weather.
I guess my answer to the prompt is that what I love about where I am right now is warm sweaters and Pema Chodron. And the weather.
(That’s a joke. Get it? It’s me!!)