Category: Love-ish-ness

A love story.

It’s good to hug a person

Ten years ago I lived on Delaware Road in London. Colin had gotten himself half-addicted to internet poker (mostly because he understood the algorithms) and I, in an attempt to connect with him in on his online poker island, suggested writing a couple’s poker blog. It was adorable… called “Poker Sweet Home: Married to the Flop”. It…

The Hard Way

Dog in a Sunbeam

We’ve got two lives: one we’re given and the other one we make, And the world won’t stop, and actions speak louder Listen to your heart, and your heart might say Everything we got, we got the hard way.  –“The Hard Way” Mary Chapin Carpenter Chapin’s song “The Hard Way” was released on the album “Come…

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

eternal sunshine

I was visited by an old friend in my dream. In the dream, he was as physically real as I am right now. The scruff on his face. The sound of his voice. Even while he and I talked, I knew it was a dream. I knew this truth: in a few minutes, he will…

Some Trouble

Lately I’ve been having some trouble writing. Particularly here on my blog. I suppose I have blog writing block. I am going to write about that today, to pass through it a bit. Feel free to skim or skip over this post if that isn’t your thing. The trouble with blog writing block is the…

Love all the People

Kids. Boy we sure do love ’em. Even people who don’t actually like kids I bet would be pretty quick to acknowledge that kids — although sometimes a pain — are love machines. They make it. They reflect it. They live it. They embody it. They are our teachers in it. So we love the…

I’ll always remember you 2014

Should old acquaintance be forgot My mother was not sentimental. She saw the world in a very pragmatic way. If you were not feeling happy, well… just cheer up. If you were feeling ill… well, wait awhile. Things were bound to change. I wished I’d asked my mom more questions about her own level of…

After the End of the World

Mom is dying and Halloween goes on.After the doctor broke the news to my mom and dad and me that mom would die soon, I held onto the 15 cent spiral notebook like it was a life raft. There isn’t enough time to ask and get answers to the really big questions in life before…

Love, and Putting Out

The one true fact of being a girl is whenever or however you enter the world and, despite your best efforts otherwise, you are thrust into a world where you are expected to “put out.” Not just in the defined way you can imagine. In every way. Whatever we believe about our first world culture and equality in…

All These Years of Loving You

See this awesome family? These grown-ups are two of my oldest friends, T. Mallie and Adrian Brathwaite. Mallie (yes, that’s what I call her) and I have known each other since we met working at the Iowa State Daily back in 1990. She and Adrian met the same year when she was bartending and he…

I Still Want to Talk to You

Hey you… Yes you. The one who moves away from me. The one who lives in a different mind now. The one who has rearranged the world. Hey you. I want you to know that I still want to talk to you. Not to just anybody. Not to fill some void. Not just to any…

In Love with ‘Love, Actually’

Love Actually Perfect

How 10 Years of Fear Have Bruised our HeartsBecause I forgot to take the bacon out of the freezer Christmas Eve, I got the chance to see “Love, Actually” again this year. It just so happens that this is the 10th anniversary of the film, and for some reason that means that people are thinking/talking…

Addicted to Loathing – #reverb13 – Day 16

Rose encased in ice original photo by E. Howard

When that habit is feeling bad, it’s hard work to feel any differently.On my “bad days,” the one thing I hear over and over again from people who love me is: “You are too hard on yourself!” This bad habit of self-loathing has been my ever-lurking shadow. It goes hand-in-hand with the long walk I…

I Submit to You This Broken Heart

I submit to you this broken heart. A year ago, I (unintentionally!) kicked a little snowball down a snowy hill, and I discovered how cold and mean life can be. I am awfully terrible at telling personal stories, and since this story has intertwined a few other hearts of people I love, I am not…

On Going Mental

Yesterday one of my oldest friends called me… from the “inside.” Well, to put it more clearly, she called from an inpatient psych ward. My friend and I have known each other now as long as we have not known each other… longer actually. And since she met her husband about 3 weeks after I…