Category: Ponderings

On thoughts, and the thinking behind them

On 45 Years of Friends

JD and Isaiah working men

For 45 years, I have been a friend and had many friends. Even after all this time, I am surprised by all the wonderfulness that makes being a friend new all the time. All Kinds of Friends I have friends I have never met in person. I have friends who are old lovers. I am amazed…

I’ll always remember you 2014

Should old acquaintance be forgot My mother was not sentimental. She saw the world in a very pragmatic way. If you were not feeling happy, well… just cheer up. If you were feeling ill… well, wait awhile. Things were bound to change. I wished I’d asked my mom more questions about her own level of…

Into the Zone – #reverb14, Day 4

Creativity is Subtraction art by Austin Kleon on Brain Pickings by Maria Popova

The act of being creative makes every artist — every person — better.We are all lightning rods, conduits for that which the Universe wants born into this world. What energies did you channel this year? — While day 2’s post I sang my song of multitudinous life, there’s a hidden secret to what drives my…

It’s Just the Weather – #reverb14, Day 3

Just the Weather

I don’t feel like a constant. I feel like super balls in a thunderstorm.It’s all too easy to put off loving where we are until everything is perfect. What can you love about where you are now? Blergh. If I were a weather man, that’s how I would describe the weather today. Cold, damp, rainy,…

Alone is Where We Are

Randi Jane Davis Three Blind Men

We are inside ourselves: no way out except create. The deluge came out in the general direction of Ridgefield artist Randi Jane Davis this past weekend at City-Wide Open Studios. Her painting (above), called “Three Blind Men” (in private collection) wasn’t the only wonderful piece of work I’d seen that day. But it was the one…

This is home

Happy at Happy Joe's in LeClaire

Two flights, five burgers at the Atlanta TGI Friday’s airport location. A bag of gummy Lifesavers, and of course, the real lifesavers: four headsets, an iPad and two iPhones with digital movies. One hour’s drive, and we are home. By home, I mean. HOME. Not Iowa, the place I grew up. I mean: here. Connecticut.…

All These Years of Loving You

See this awesome family? These grown-ups are two of my oldest friends, T. Mallie and Adrian Brathwaite. Mallie (yes, that’s what I call her) and I have known each other since we met working at the Iowa State Daily back in 1990. She and Adrian met the same year when she was bartending and he…

On Year 44

What All Those Birthday Wishes Mean to MeAs I walked from home to the playground today to pick up the kids, it occurred to me that — perhaps — at some point in one’s life it is considered “untoward” to make such a fuss about one’s birthday. Of course, not that I’ve ever given a…

In Love with ‘Love, Actually’

Love Actually Perfect

How 10 Years of Fear Have Bruised our HeartsBecause I forgot to take the bacon out of the freezer Christmas Eve, I got the chance to see “Love, Actually” again this year. It just so happens that this is the 10th anniversary of the film, and for some reason that means that people are thinking/talking…

Why Not? She Asks Again – #reverb13 – Day 17

Wide Open Original photo by E. Howard

Resolve – Firmness of purpose; to solve a problem or a dispute. My word for 2013 was “resolve.” I dissected that word last December, and like any misguided wordsmith, instead of thinking “how does this apply to me” I just pulled it all apart and wrote in second person. I have a tendency to do…

Addicted to Loathing – #reverb13 – Day 16

Rose encased in ice original photo by E. Howard

When that habit is feeling bad, it’s hard work to feel any differently.On my “bad days,” the one thing I hear over and over again from people who love me is: “You are too hard on yourself!” This bad habit of self-loathing has been my ever-lurking shadow. It goes hand-in-hand with the long walk I…

Being Out There Again – #reverb13 – Day 5

Standing at the Precipice by Charkrem on Flickr

The brutal impact of self-censorship Right now, you are experiencing with me my biggest risk of 2013. Back in 2009, after the kids came to live with us, the kids’ attorney advised me to consider cutting back on my online presence. I was shocked. I felt sick. It hadn’t occurred to me that the family…