However, since I’ve/we’ve started morphing to Facebook and readers and Twitter, I’ve gotten out of the habit of adding my friends on my blogroll here. I think I keep waiting for some kind of miracle of technology to tell me it has some kind of Google Search shortcut to find out all my favorite sites and dropping links to them on my blogroll.

Let’s face it: I am sure that widget exists, but I haven’t found it yet.

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So anyway, as I was doing that today, I realized I’d broken my blog. If you are one of those people who reads it at the actual site you might have notice the formatting has changed. I had to dismantle it entirely because a plugin I installed started chomping away at its insides. Yes, that is the technical term.

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Which is fine. I really want to update the theme here, but I haven’t been able to decide what I like yet. All of this has made me forget — ARGH! — what I meant to start by telling you which is that I stopped by Amy Oscar’s blog today. I’d been away from her for awhile, and the minute I returned I was in love again.

The design isn’t all that fancy. It’s just her VOICE I love to hear. She sounds so comfortable and regular. It’s very hard to achieve that in writing. You have to practice being yourself ALOT in everyday life. Another friend of mine — Alma Schenider, who has the great cooking blog “Take Back the Kitchen” — also has this sort of easy voice on her blog. Makes you feel very at home. When you meet Alma in real life, she very at home in her own skin too. I haven’t met Amy in real life, but I bet she’s cool like that too.

–

Which is just to say that I keep on forgetting to just chill out in my writing. The month of small stones, though, helped. (Thanks Fiona) And the poetry is helping too.

-

Oh, and in case you are curious what’s a favorite topic of conversation at the dinner table around here, I can tell you: it’s llamas.

All llamas, all the time.

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She lives in Des Moines and recently she acquired chickens.

She and her husband and her kids have chickens in their backyard. 

Do you ever look at your friends, when they do something cool/amazing/odd/wonderful/outrageous and think:

“Uh oh.”

Here it comes. The Existential Chicken Crisis.

The other day, my friend Deb was over and she mentioned chili or something and then she said:

“Ah I saw that article you posted on Facebook, what was it? The 10 Foods You Should  Never Eat? And I thought OH NO!! Here I thought I was doing something great, making homemade chili! But I use CANNED TOMATOES! Ah shit. They were on that list.”

See?

Uh oh. Existential Tomato Crisis.

There are times — many times — when I have wished I were a moron. Existential Chicken Crises are definitely one of them.

Oh don’t worry. It’s not a permanent feeling. It’s just passing moment when I think:

“OH wouldn’t it be so much easier if I were an idiot and didn’t notice ANYTHING at all and could just work as a waiter forever, and then come home and roll around mindlessly on my Made in China sectional, right after I put ALL of the wrappers from my fast food — include the recyclable and compostable ones — in the trash can?

Then I have  to say no to myself. My days of waiting tables and eating quesadillas at midnight — for the most part– are over. That’s fine with me.

It’s just then I have to DEAL with the new information. I have to DECIDE: am I going to be a person who hosts chickens in MY backyard, or am I going to keep buying them from the chicken factory?

Or something in between.

Once new information seeps in, it makes just living a decent life a tussle.

I don’t think it’s keeping up with the Joneses so much. It’s keeping up following our own ideology: what our family wants to be.

Existential Chicken Crisis commence.

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I am happy — so happy — to be participating in A River of Stones for this reason.

It gives me more reason to stop in my tracks. For a moment.

To see the curtains, and remember.

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The “Big Question” for September and December kept me focused on central themes, which was a lot of fun and kept me coming back to the blog and getting connected again with some other amazing writers.

Even though my family keeps me really busy, I’m keeping up the momentum this month. But I’m publishing in a few other places.

You can see my January series over on my main webpage. This month I am participating in a beautiful series created by Fiona Robyn and Kaspalita called “The River of Stones.” I’ve given my own group of “small stones” a title: “What Details Know.”

Please come over and visit me there. I’d love to hear what you think.

Meanwhile, I’ve dusted off my journalism skills and I’m writing some regular feature posts for the Stratford Patch. It’s been lovely to get to meet and know some of my neighbors more closely this way. Thanks to my editor Jason Bagley for supporting me on this.

Oh, and by the by… there is one cool lady I’d like to mention.

Off the subject but definitely worth a look.

In our recently travels, our family met another very cool family, also with four kids. The lovely matriarch of this bunch is Alma Schneider. She’s a foodie, but her business is fascinating: she a counselour who helps people like you and me back from the brink of convenience food. “Take Back the Kitchen” is just one of her super-cool projects.

No related posts.

I set the table with
Clean, cut glasses, Christmas crackers
Flatware. Before breakfast
All the flat edges glimmer
In anticipation.

Do you ever wonder: What the hell is the point of Elizabeth’s blog?

It’s this: details.

It’s a place to read In The Details, as a way to understand ourselves, each other, the world.

“Letters from a Small State” is about “the little stuff.” It’s a place to be with and notice the little things that shape who we are. All those million details. 

So this blog could be about toast racks or or pink drinking straws or a small car accident. And it is. But it is also about how we make meaning from all the stuff we pack around ourselves everyday. Or choose not to.

But why?

I guess I started to really winnow down my blog topics to focus on the IDEA of details when I realized I needed practice writing about the details. I wasn’t too good at it. I’d often spend too much time pontificating, rather than noticing.

For example, maybe I might notice a man’s shoe, and then write an entire blog post about how that shoe affected how I thought about that man, and who I thought he was. Not only that, but what that meant to our culture.

Except that I did it all upside-down.

I’d preach my proclamations — about the man, about myself, about the world — but I’d forget to really think about THE SHOE.

The shoe, after all, is where the thought began. It was a kind of microcosm of IDEA. The shoe took me into “small state” — a series of linked theoretical and cultural conclusions and ideas that change, forever, my idea of “shoe.” But the shoe was NOT the idea. It was the place it began.

A detail is sometimes a thoughtless beginning.

What’s Coming up….

In January, I start a new series, on The River of Stones, 2012. I’m calling it “What Details Know.”

It will be a series of “small stones” published here, and also shared on ny blog at The Stratford Patch.

I hope you enjoyed the December series on the dream of Holidays… If you have any feedback, feel free to contact me anytime.

—

You can be a detail masher yourself. Anytime, here on my blog. I always warmly accept submissions.

In January, join me and lots of other beautiful people, on The River of Stones.

To join Fiona Robyn and Kaspalita’s River of Stones, all one does is:

1. Notice something properly every day during January.
2. Write it down.

Small stones (like the one written above), according to Fiona Robyn:

“Small stones are everywhere, all of the time.  All you have to do is pause and let them appear.”

Take the pause in January to read or write a small stone.  Be a detail picker.

And be in a Small State.

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You can read more about How to Write a small stone, here. And follow the completely wonderful Fiona and Kaspa on Twitter.

–

This is the second to last post in my December Series: “If Only in My Dreams.” See you back here on Dec. 31 for a recap.

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Elf: “WHICH PHOTO PACKAGE DID YOU BUY?!” the elf barked at us.

Me: “We haven’t chosen one yet,” I said. “We wanted to get in line before it got too long.”

Elf: “WHAT?! Well, you each sat on his lap so you want FOUR photo packages, right?”

Colin:  ”Uh, actually we were going to have them all sit together–”

Elf: “So, what, you WANT to buy FIVE photo packages?”

Us: “Well, er, uh, um –”

Elf (tapping foot): “I can SEE Daddy over here being all SNEAKY with his iPhone when he’s not supposed to be. Why don’t one of you get over here and pick one of of the photo packages. Because Santa’s got a LONG line of people and only 25 minutes until lunch.”

Beat. I exchange glances with Santa. Number 4 is smiling like crazy and whispering in his ear.

Me: “Excuse me. Can my daughter please just talk to Santa for a minute?”
–

Dear Stamford Town Center Mall and Snapfish,

You are on the Naughty List. For sure.

–

This post is part of the December BIG QUESTION Series, “If Only in My Dreams.”

What’s your dream of the holidays? Or how has that dream gone horribly wrong?? Tell us in the comments!

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When I lived in Kansas City, I was single.

This meant that I spent a great deal of my energy and mind space being frustrated and unhappy about my “alone”ness.

Like most young women (and men too, I guess), I really wanted to find someone special to connect with, to be with, so long as we both shall live.

And I did! YAY!

But before that time, I spent many Christmas times alone. Not the actual holiday itself, because on the that day I would head back to my parents’ house and hang out there.

But that time from Thanksgiving and the Plaza Lighting Ceremony to Christmas Eve … that was spent pretty much on my own.

This week, I’ve been nostalgic for Kansas City. I have so many great friends there. This is how I am remembering that time.

Even though I was “alone,” — a girl on her own in the big city — I had a family I created from people I met who loved me even though I wasn’t related to them at all.

Now that I have kids around here, I have lots and lots of things on my To Do List for this time of the years. LOTS.

So it is nice to reflect now and then on the “alone” days. I guess some days I even pine for them. But I also try to remind myself to not make them seem more wonderful than they actually were. Because I know I was pretty lonely back then too.

Now, I just want to remember them… the good, the sad, the beautiful.

The lights, the porches, the roommates, the parties, family visiting, the demanding customers I waited on, the smoky bars, the uncommitted men, and the house with two cats.

But most of all, the friends, the hugs, and the laughing.

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This post is part of my BIG QUESTION December series “If Only in My Dreams.”

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Christmas means different things to different people. After 22 years of marriage, Heather and I are finally understanding how much our families influenced how we enjoy holidays.

• How many presents are under the tree?
• Do you open presents on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve?
• How many lights go up on the house?
• Which way do you have your kids celebrate the holiday?

So, what was that great Christmas memory?

One of my best childhood memories is riding in the back seat of our 1967 VW Beetle on a cold Christmas Eve. The weak heater forced us to huddle close to stay warm. (That model doesn’t even have a fan to force the engine’s heat into the cabin!) My brother Bill and I shared the secret of what present we got each other. I can remember the cold, but, the memory doesn’t stretch far enough to remind me what that present was.

My brother, Bill, and I still are great friends. Though we live 900 miles apart, we still share presents, though not whispered in the back seat of an ancient Beetle. And our presents look a little different.

This year, share some aspect of Christmas with someone you love.

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In which I tried to explain to the kids that our little “artificial” tree is actually “real.”

Existentialism 101

Me: We are putting up our tree this afternoon.
Kid 1: Is it a real tree?
Me: Well, yes, it is a real tree. A real tree in that it isn’t imaginary.
Kid 1: No, I mean, does it–
Kid 2: She means is it the kind with the needles, no.. wait, I mean
Kid 3: The kind that grows out of the ground! That we CHOP DOWN!
Me: Like the one we got when we went to Jones Farm.
Kid 1: I didn’t like that. It was too cold.
Me: The tree we are putting up today is a real tree. A real fake tree.
Kid 2: NO!! I mean, a tree, that like has smell!
Me: I am sure the tree we are putting up today smells. Perhaps like chemicals or petroleum byproduct.
Kid 4: Wha?
Me: Let’s put it this way: The tree is really, real. It will really be in our house.
(Silence)
Kid 3: When can I open presents?
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Another lovely post in my December “If Only in My Dreams” series. Read more!

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