Taking the Bagel

A Bagel with Butter Should NOT Come with PATS of ButterThe truth about life lies in this pat of butter.

We can ask for what we want.

We can even PAY for what we want.

We can desire and expect it. But we won’t always get it.

Here’s the bagel I had for breakfast at my favorite Milford cafe.

I order it in this way.

Me: I’ll have a medium coffee and a sesame bagel toasted with butter for here. And I like my bagels burnt. Well, practically.

He: ummm are you SURE you don’t want to try the Vanilla Macadamia coffee? If you don’t like it, you can HATE me.”

Me:No thanks. Just regular coffee and the bagel.”

He:Are you SURE? The coffee is, like, to die for.”

[deep pause]

Me: Just the regular coffee. And the bagel.  I really don’t want to hate you.

The Vanilla (yuck!) and the Macadamia (AWFUL) managed to distract both of us enough — him then and me now. From the real point. The. Bagel.

Or more to the point:

Butter Pats and The Meaning of Life.

The bagel came and it was nearly toasted, served with four butter pats.

I spread the butter and ate the bagel and it was just fine. But it wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I expected or desired.  It was a slice of life, served on a pretty yellow plate, with a medium regular coffee.

People do have a way of wanting what the want, the way they want it, especially when it comes to breakfast bread. And ordering food out is a constant battle for satisfaction.We say “bagel with butter” but what we really mean is: “Hello. I have so many unfulfilled needs in my overstuffed life. My jeans don’t fit very well anymore and I don’t like my hair. Could you please butter my bagel for me????”

We look into the eyes of a stranger, the underpaid, also-dissatisfied person across the counter and unknowingly entrust them with our everyday luxuries. We ask for our heart’s desire, hope for the best and we are often disappointed.

A Bovine Revolt?2008 Butter Cow-Illinois State Fair from sj-r.com’

My friend Jessica, who is a vegan, is very funny and very ranty lately on Facebook. Lately she reminded us all (via Status Update) that a really good way to offend her– and the entire population of Vegan-onia– is to plan a subversive cheese attack. This is done but mixing “just a little bit”  of cheese into food served to her (or her vegan comrades) after they’ve asked for it without.

I thought of that as I was internally whining about my butter this morning. We can ask for what we want, we can even expect it, but life inevitably hands us obstacles.

Often, apparently, in dairy form.

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