Techno-Love


Or, On How to Avoid Becoming a Lesbian at College

My friend, Frances, and I have married the same man.

Frances: Alex is bobsledding in Lillehammer. He’s a bit nervous.

Me: Why? He’s loves to ski black diamonds in brightly colored one-piece snowsuits.

Frances: The first time they go down in a big bathtub thing with five or six people, but the second run is on an actual bobsled. By the end of the slope, you are actually pulling 5 gs.

Me: Colin would like that. He’d be grinning like an idiot by the end. (I demonstrate)

Frances: Look. (Shows me a photo  on her Blackberry). He just sent this. “This is my lunch.”

Me: Is that lime pizza?

Frances: (texting) “mmmmm lime pizza.”

In a previous post, I mentioned how I felt that marrying IT guys is the new black, and I stand by that conviction.

Especially after reading a recent article from the New York Times website about the dire state of dating on college campuses. Based on the percentage of women in college, it appears that if you are a lady who attends a college that DOESN’T have an engineering school, you will be forced to be a lesbian to get a date.

Well, of course the key there is the geek factor. When choosing a school to attend, ladies, find the best engineering schools. Engineering schools are heaving with men like Colin and Alex (well, not all as handsome, I’ll grant) whose job prospects are far better than the hot dude with a six pack, scrabbling for a “communications” degree.

And even if your nerd seems a bit unpolished when you meet him, note that more than any man I have met, IT guys are very malleable in the social and fashion departments. That is, they have little to no skills in those departments and they aren’t embarrassed to say so. So if you love a project, they will sit very still for you.

As long as you let them have their computer/Crackberry while you work.

Frances: I am really Alex’s second wife. After the Toshiba.
Me: Colin gets mad at me if I talk to him when he’s building his iTunes playlist.
Frances: We married the same man.

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