Paying for Santa


Number four child was TRYING to whisper in Jolly Old St. Nick’s ear at the Santa Village when she was interrupted.

Elf: “WHICH PHOTO PACKAGE DID YOU BUY?!” the elf barked at us.

Me: “We haven’t chosen one yet,” I said. “We wanted to get in line before it got too long.”

Elf: “WHAT?! Well, you each sat on his lap so you want FOUR photo packages, right?”

Colin:  “Uh, actually we were going to have them all sit together–”

Elf: “So, what, you WANT to buy FIVE photo packages?”

Us: “Well, er, uh, um –”

Elf (tapping foot): “I can SEE Daddy over here being all SNEAKY with his iPhone when he’s not supposed to be. Why don’t one of you get over here and pick one of of the photo packages. Because Santa’s got a LONG line of people and only 25 minutes until lunch.”

Beat. I exchange glances with Santa. Number 4 is smiling like crazy and whispering in his ear.

Me: “Excuse me. Can my daughter please just talk to Santa for a minute?”

Dear Stamford Town Center Mall and Snapfish,

You are on the Naughty List. For sure.

This post is part of the December BIG QUESTION Series, “If Only in My Dreams.”

What’s your dream of the holidays? Or how has that dream gone horribly wrong?? Tell us in the comments!

 

  1 comment for “Paying for Santa

  1. Anonymous
    December 28, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    This reminded me of David Sedaris’ Santaland Diaries. *laughing*

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