Letters from Home

How to Win the Nobel Peace Prize

George Bush... I'm coming fer ya!You might have THOUGHT Mother Teresa won her Nobel Prize for caring for the poor and the hungry. But it was really her smack talk about the Bush family that sealed the deal.

Because, according to a headliner at the “Ethics and Public Policy Center” there is one fool-proof way to get yourself noticed by the Nobel Prize committee.

“If you either lost to Bush or are highly critical of Bush, I think your odds of winning the Nobel Peace Prize increase exponentially.”

So says Peter Wehner in Bernstein and Sullivan’s article “Gore and U.N. Panel Share Peace Prize” in the Washington Post today. Wehner explains why the Nobel prize long has been “devalued by conservatives, who see it as a way to send a message of disapproval to Bush.”

Those Norwegians… first they conquer Minnesota and parts of Wisconsin! Now they’re subverting the Truth Administration with fakey “Peace” prizes. Bah!

Wehner is a former White House official (obviously not from the Clinton administration) now with the Ethics and Public Policy Center, which is a conservative “think tank.” Tank of thinking.

That Wehner is on to something. I mean, have you seen the Nobel Prize winners, lately? There is 2004’s Wangari Maathai who obviously was a NOBODY till she started travelling the party circuit with the Bush twins, getting drunk and clubbing it up, then blabbing about them to the tabloids. Now look where she is.

Then there is 1991’s winner, that total fake, Ang Sang Suu Kyi . Everyone knows her “house arrest” is just a clever way of getting out of going to work. Everyone knows she pulls the whole “hunger strike” crap whenever she’s put on a little thigh flab. It’s all a ruse to make Laura Bush look chubby.

Hey, but let’s be straight. I’m not saying the Gore decision isn’t …. controversial? Influenced by his high profile in the last year? Fueled a bit by the BILLIONS of people outside the United States who are sick to death of the current administration’s “I’m the decider” approach to foreign relations and policies?

OK. But come on you Gore-be-gone neo-cons… Let’s break it DOWN a little here.  Be simple. The word is peace. PEACE prize. If it were the Nobel War Prize, I’m sure you and your peeps would be tippity top of the list. So, stop pouting and get your own prize.

I have three letters for you. D-U-H. So toss that over the back of the saddle and simmer on it at the Tank of Ethical Public Policy Thinking awhile.

4 thoughts on “How to Win the Nobel Peace Prize

  1. Just because you can find a couple of obscure counter-examples doesn’t mean the prize isn’t a complete joke. If you believe the Nobel peace prize has any real merit then you are just smoking something.

  2. This should be all you need to know about how empty the friggin Nobel Peace Prize is: You wanna take a guess at who else was successfully nominated this year? If you had 99 guesses on a 100 multiple-choice test, I still don’t think anyone would get this right: Lush Rimbug…That’s right. (Really right!)

    If he can get on the “short list” of nominees (about 50, I think), how meaningful can the “prize” really be? (Unless, of course, it’s the booby prize.)

    CM

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