Category: Ponderings

On thoughts, and the thinking behind them

What happens when things fall apart

When Things Fall Apart Quote Pema Chodron - To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest

“The middle way is wide open, but it is tough going…” Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart One of the loneliest feelings I’ve ever felt is feeling lost in the middle of heartache. That heartache has taken all kinds of shapes in my life. Right now it’s the shape of unresolved family issues. They continue…

If You Want Creativity at Work…

Creativity at work John Cleese guide book

You do have to have some peace and quiet One of the truths about creativity is that it takes time. But sometimes, when you work in a creative “workplace,” you find yourself having to be creative, but also under the gun of having to crank shit out. It helps to be good at what you…

What the moon tells us

Every 28 days, the full moon returns. Why is that monthly reoccurrence so magical? Why does it appear like a stranger in the sky? Why are there names for our full moons — the Strawberry, the Cold, the Harvest — and why are we made blue when two of them visit us in a calendar…

The Art of Not Beating Myself Up

So close but so far, pexels-henry-&-co-2886015-so close so far

It’s a fine balance — to Excuse oneself of one’s Daily failings while Simultaneously keeping Inherent laziness in check. Somewhere along the Spectrum between Perfectionism and total Sloth-dom, I rise to Today’s occasion of To dos. On the one hand I know I am Failing utterly at Living in the now As I continually Check…

The Biggest Waste of Time

Worrying in the middle of the night is the biggest waste of time

When, in the course of Sleeping, I stumble across Some disturbance in a dream I will then find myself awake. Awakeness is a layered process, But eventually I squint at the Digital clock (if the laundry isn’t Blocking it) and come out of it. I might feel tired enough to Escape, but usually My mind…

Straight Outta Downton

Remember Anne Hathaway? A few years back she Hosted the Oscars. A guy who shall remain Nameless was also there but Was he really? Because She danced, sang and Joked circles around him. I’ll never be Anne Hathaway (Or Rebel Wilson, for that Matter) but I do remember The fine figure she cut that Evening…

Always Running Away

Carry the World Kids Artwork Running Away with the World

We are all, always running away. I think at some point we have to accept that some people are not meant to stay still. They are always running away. But then again, who doesn’t? Why don’t we do it more? Just like we have to accept that some people don’t want children. Some people play…

What is Waiting for Us In the Afterlife

The Existential afterlife

I had 30 minutes in the car yesterday to think about what is waiting for us in the afterlife. It just so happens we were on the way to church. The kids traditionally read their books while we drive, but there was no “we” this weekend. Colin was out of town. So I had some…

Getting all emotional

anger and writing through it shopping cart

The extremely useful writing website Writer’s HQ recently called for pitches related to the theme of “Resistance” and writing. For me, the idea of resistance and protest is highly emotional. I’ve been known to get “worked up” on a topic or two in my day! Any person who stands ready to challenge the status quo…

That’s Not Me

Don't type Angry - that's not me

In reading the pile of reports the school sent over regarding my youngest child, I thought: that’s not me. On every occasion in parenting, I am reminding how very few people I encounter — whether as friends or acquaintances — who really understand me. They do exist, and they are ridiculously loyal. But the by…

Everything you can possibly imagine

Fantasy Star Trail by Nicolas Raymond New Years Resolution

There’s a reason why we every year we do that “resolution” thing at the new year. It has to do with hope. The turn of the new year is a false sense of new beginning. But it’s one we love to embrace. It’s proof of the enduring human spirit and our attachment to hope. Every…

Advancing Through the Unpredictable

White out snow storm lake effect

In the course of driving to Ontario for Christmas, we encountered a lake effect snow squall. Neither Colin nor I are strangers to snowstorms of any size or might. We are both veteran snow drivers. However, this was our first encounter with a true, pop-up blizzard. Along Interstate 81, we were warned “Lake Effect Snow…

I can only be myself

Existential Angst bubble

Adoptive kids have a special layer of wonder in their lives. Why am I in this family? How did this happen to me? Who am I really? What might have been? This special layer of wonder undoubtedly will shape them and their life direction, as all mental efforts do. But as I worry this thread a…

On Being Called an Idiot

Stupid idiot shenpa

It’s a perfectly lovely, breezy day, and I’m walking my daughter to school and taking the dog for a stroll. Conversation surrounds whether the dog minds being on a leash and “Dogs have feelings too mom!” I’m feeling general anxiety I haven’t felt in weeks, frustration that ebbs over the general state of the world…