Dear Denise Austin: Could you come over?

Or, The Booty is Asking for Help Here..

In the next few months, I am going to get RID of this seriously ridiculous JELLY ROLL on my gut and hopefully bring down my cholesterol number.

This is not some rinky dink New Year’s resolution. It takes time and resolve to plan the attack on bad habits. After all, what could be more fun then SNACK TIME? Or spooning in the morning until the last possible second?

But I need help! I am sending out my fitness assistance call to action in ALL directions. I already love to yoga, but I am not going to drop any weight in savasana once a week.

Colin suggested I train for a TRIATHALON with him. I feel skittish about this possibility but I haven’t said no. I have the seed planted and I am starting to look for adult swim lessons somewhere.

And I’ve asked him if we could maybe trade our usual date night out to dinner with some weekly rock climbing. Apparently this gym has a ladies night for $5 on Fridays. But I’ve got to learn to belay first.

What You Can Do to Help My Luscious Booty.

Besides getting myself motivated, I really would like some HELP!

I want you to send me fitness events, races, opportunities and CHALLENGE me to join you in them, or just tell me to do it on my own!

Give me link to a 5K and I will sign up.

Send me a bike race you know of and I will get cycling to get ready.

Hire Denise Austin to live at my house for awhile.

It’s karma, after all.

Once I had a friend, Kate Reilly, who said she ALWAYS wanted to run a marathon. She was SO ready for it and I could tell because she kept talking about it. She sat across at her desk and waxed poetic on the how SOMEDAY she was going  to run the Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego.

This was back before marathons were cool, but after the internet was invented. So while she was gabbing on and on, I went online.

I signed her up.

“Kate, I just signed you up for the Rock and Roll Marathon,” I said.

There was a good deal of sputtering. And she was kinda pissed. After she reconnected her jaw to her face, she started training almost immediately. She trained for 6 months, running the streets in the late nights.

And she ran her dream first marathon.

Could you please help me? I should  note, however: Please don’t sign me up for a marathon. Currently can hardly walk currently. Give it a year or so.