Boobquake, Milkshakes and Our Diabolical Plan

Milkshake Madness - Kenny GAs a professor (all right! just an adjunct…) of rhetoric, I can spot and identify logical fallacy when I see one.

So did the awesome BlagHag blogger Jen McCreight when a Muslim cleric managed to twist the logic so profoundly of protecting women from their own immodesty  that he accidentally predicted that free-moving, free-ranging cellulite would induce seismic activity.

And, hence from the mind of Blag Hag came BoobQuake: the best use of accidental media breast-hype since the wardrobe malfunction Super Bowl XXXVIII.

I myself, did not partake in “Boobquake.” Why? Two reasons… Ignorance and the fact that I do NOT have much on top that would stir Muslim men and “lead them astray” — even if I did accidentally walk underneath a tipping bucket of water on a day I went braless due to bandages impeding my thumbs from working complicated hook-eyes.

Besides, I didn’t read McCreight’s fine print soon enough: that on Boobquake 04-26-10,  I could have shifted my immodest clothing around “back” to reveal my better-cleavage. It turns out that McCreight didn’t discriminate against the less-boobalicious of  her sisters. If I’d wanted, I could have worn my plumber-i-est pants of all! I guess the term “boobquake” was really just a catchall– a much more appealing choice than say “ass-nami” or “thigh-nado.”

Digressions aside, this kind of feminism really kicks it for me. I mean, obviously the asking for equality isn’t really working anymore. Instead, I think we can all agree it’s best to just keep on tricking men into giving us what we want, and using our anatomy to do so.

I mean, I think Colbert reminds us wisely that we can’t pretend that the boys don’t love the “milkshake!” By getting them to watch our boobs and butts jiggle up and down — for a cause! — who knows? Maybe we could finally get those extra bathroom stalls at the concert venues that we’ve been asking for!