Letters from Home

Take the Pineapple from the Bowl!

Or… Mama Earth’s First Indication We’re Overstaying Our Welcome
Pineapple Turkey!

I’ve brought you all here today, in the witness of this pineapple turkey, to tell you about the legend of the pineapple.

Once people went to visit a wealthy home and they were greeted warmly. They knew the hosts were glad to see them because on the table they saw a beautiful bowl of fruit, at the center, a rare and luscious pineapple.

They would stay to visit, play cards, walk to town, go to church together, listen to one of the many daughters play on the spinet. Gossip and sleep late.

Weeks might even pass. Conversation might get dry. Petty tiffs rise up and sucked back in tight lips. Host might duck into other doorways when they hear footsteps on the stair.

Then, like every decent host, there would be kind smiles and no indication of stress. Just a simple gesture. The pineapple would disappear from the fruit basket. They guests were told, with simple tropical fruit, it was time to go.

So now, when I am shopping in MEG-O-MART GROCERY, HARDWARE and FASHION HAUS and I see the pile of pineapples on the display, everyday of every week of every month of every year, I realize: No wonder us guests of this Earth House are confused. Pineapples are everywhere. Not to mention every other kind of thing we could possibly not need. Like Turkey Pineapple Centerpiece Kits.

No wonder we keep sleepily wandering about the place, consuming the little pretty soaps and using a new towel everyday, without thinking. It’s so nice and easy here!

Time for the host — mama Earth — to take the pineapple from the bowl. Time for us to go home and do some work again. Hey, you know! Life isn’t one big vacation, after all! Somebody had to work to get those pineapples all the way to Stratford, Connecticut from the warm places they grew. Someone had to pay the price for that!

So, I humbly thank my host for the excellent hospitality. When our garden starts sprouting in the summer, I hope she’ll make an appearance here herself.