The Cinnamon Toast Eater’s Dilemma

Besides the obvious problem of having to spell “cinnamon,” this breakfast delight has come to represent a little bit of a dilemma for me.

Have you heard of the book “The Omnivore’s Dilemma?” Ok. And what about the moving “Food, Inc.“? Have you seen that movie?

If you have, GOOD JOB!

I haven’t. I have not. I hav. N’t. Not.

People I’ve met before and also people I’ve even been related to and been birthed by too have implied directly to my face that I am kind of snobby when it comes to being “green” and promoting organic eating, etc.

I can’t see anyway around being proud of my eating turn around. I have gone approximately 42 degrees from the way I used to eat! From the days of yore, when I only ever ate Tony’s pizzas and Mac n Cheese and gummy bears, my eating life is extraordinarily different. Now I eat Tombtone pizzas and Annie’s Organic SHELLS and cheese and the ONLY candy I eat is stolen from my children’s Halloween stash, which I eat directly in front of them while they stare at me over their bananas.
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This is the Cinnamon Toast Eater’s Dilemma. It’s the “boy, have I fooled myself!” notion that I am eating better than I used to, when really I am mostly just feeding my kids better, while noshing on heaps of (WHOLE WHEAT!! Good job!) cinnamon toast the minute the house gets quiet and I know no one is watching.

It’s not to say that my palate hasn’t expanded… it has! I love so many more foods than I used to: fish, broccoli, mayonnaise, lentils, you know the basic food groups. But none of these taste good sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar!

And besides: it’s hard to let go of those old comforts. Cinnamon toast — like its friends the Snickers bar and the donut– is a nice release on a stressful day, when the gym and cocktail hour both seem far off. Unfortunately, I fall back on food too often as mood alterer.

The hardest part is learning to see it for what it is — a temporary eating detour — and let it be. Because the other options — ignoring the truth, or being too hard on myself — seem to make that cinnamon toast seem like an even better idea.

Funny how that works.
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This post is part of the month-long BIG “Food” QUESTION series: “What is eating you?”.