Women’s Genitalia: Cosmo calls it like they see it?

My good friend Suzanne was kind enough to tell me about the March 2008 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. Besides featuring the talented Rihanna on the cover, it also titallates readers and lures them over to the magazine stand with its usual circus of SEX, SEX, and CHEATING.

But that wasn’t what caught my eye and really got Zanne and I chortling. Our eyes were drawn undeniably to the hypenate in the bottom left:

VA-JAY-JAY!

Apparently that isn’t the latest rap singer. It’s the leading women’s magazine’s cool slang term for what can only be described as the unspeakable female hinterlands: THE VAGINA!!!! (screaming and horror music inserted here)

“Lovely Lady Parts”
Most women I know have never had a good look at their “Va-Jay-Jay,” so I’m guessing they have NO idea how “lovely” these parts are.  Most definitely  leave that up to the experts: their ob/gyn, their husbands/boyfriends, and the angel with warm wax who tidies them up, Brazilian style.

Maybe this is JUST the article they need, JUST the sort of funny-ha-ha, sister-to-sister approach to get them grabbing their hand mirrors and taking their own personal muff dive.  Regardless of whether they have had a good look or not, I am not sure we are totally ready to have a pet name — hyphens and all — foisted on our “lovely lady parts” by a national magazine.

I don’t think of myself as a fuddy-duddy. I like a cute turn of phrase for sure and I’ve gotten useful information from women’s rags in the past. But shouldn’t nicknaming the VAGINA, CLITORIS and other lovely parts be a personal choice, not the work of a supposedly reputable women’s information source?

One other question for you… Here’s two options they could have gone with. Would they have been any better?

1) Leave the article in the magazine, but not push it on the cover. Use “SEX” to get them in, but make sure the good and useful content is still there.

2) Use the REAL name, ie.: “YOUR VAGINA” on the cover, and let the lube fall where it may? 

Elizabeth Howard

Elizabeth writes literary non-fiction, haiku, cultural rants, and Demand Poetry in order to forward the cause of beautiful writing. She calls London, Kansas City, and Iowa home. 

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