All my friends at The Warrington in England who didn’t know what or where Iowa is (“sounds familiar though”) are getting their quat-annual reminder today as my fair home state makes front page news internationally, including three front pages in the Guardian, The Independent and below the fold featuring McCain in the Tory Times. As…
Category: Life in America
The Most Perfect Handbag in the World
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Or, What to Buy A Woman, Any Woman and She’ll Like it, I Swear If you are madly last-minute shopping for ANY woman in your life, just save yourself the hassle and buy this bag from Changehandbags.com. At 50 bucks (now don’t wince… you’re up against it, brother) it’s pricier than a pair of earrings…
21st Century Tips to Holiday Office Parties
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Maybe I wouldn’t have been so inspired to write this if I hadn’t been rebuffed by UBS, my husband’s workplace, two years in a row now. UBS, that beloved multinational banking behemoth, which hit Working Mother’s Top 10 again this year for super companies to work for, hosts mammoth holiday parties every year for their…
90 Minutes from Door to Balloon
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Tis the Season to Keel Over…. Fa la la la luh. I’ll probably die of a massive coronary for writing this, but it’s a sad state of affairs — on the health, diet and media accounts — when we are to the point of worrying about aggravating our clogged arteries around the holiday season. My…
Do You Close the Bathroom Door Even When You’re the Only One Home?
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Or, A Prelude to How to Have an Existential Crisis I recently was hired to teach two courses next semester. I am thinking about quitting and I haven’t even started yet. In fact, I have pretty much already decided to quit, I just can’t be bothered to get around to it. I’ve decided not to…
Tag, You’re It
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Or, Silly Games Bloggers Play to Fill Their Time Recently, my “bluddy” (ie. my blog buddy, or, also, my bloody-pain-in-the-arse-bugging-me-with-chain-blogs-buddy) Grinder “tagged” me for some inocuous game of Blog Tag. Being tagged in a blog is not (I hope) like being tagged by a gang member. It’s more akin to that uber-long and somewhat-but-not-quite personal “Get To Know…
Roof Over Head
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Guest Post from Grinder There was a homeless guy on the square, all smiles with his hands out and when you gave him change he was bless you and thank you and you would feel good. One day I walked out of Walgreens and there he was with a newspaper. I reached in and gave…
The Uphill Battle
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Three hours of my time, this weekend, was spent doing this (see photo, right). If you had a look at my yard right now, of course, you’d have absolutely zero inkling that any form of rake had ever touch it. As an estimate, we have 427,783 trees in our yard. Now, this might be an…
The Happiest Terrorist (see new definition)
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After reading a somewhat disturbing account of a poor Japanese tourist on a Connecticut train, I’ve decided, on behalf of all Normal (ie., not bonkers) English speakers everywhere, to reclaim the word “TERROR” and give it a total facelift. New Definition: Terror (n) (trr) : Intense desire to use a pogo stick. Usage: From the…
Take the Pineapple from the Bowl!
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Or… Mama Earth’s First Indication We’re Overstaying Our Welcome I’ve brought you all here today, in the witness of this pineapple turkey, to tell you about the legend of the pineapple. Once people went to visit a wealthy home and they were greeted warmly. They knew the hosts were glad to see them because on…
Postcard from Kansas
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If you’re wondering where people go when they don’t update their blogs for a few days, it might be Kansas. It might be to visit old friends. To stop and sit on a sofa, holding a fussy baby and wonder “Is this what is meant by vacation?” It might be that time you spend, stopping…
How to Win the Nobel Peace Prize
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You might have THOUGHT Mother Teresa won her Nobel Prize for caring for the poor and the hungry. But it was really her smack talk about the Bush family that sealed the deal. Because, according to a headliner at the “Ethics and Public Policy Center” there is one fool-proof way to get yourself noticed by…
The 4x4s that Ate Connecticut
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… Or, Why We Can’t Find Our Car in our “Green” State Connecticut is a “blue” state which means that it generally votes democrat. It’s full of “liberals” running around shopping at Trader Joes and farmer’s markets, buying organic and bringing that GREEN hue to every statement they make. Hence the theme for today’s eco-rant, brought…
The Return of the Karmic Lawn Mower
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About five years ago, Silvia and Alex Torres gave me their lawn mower because they didn’t need it in their move back to Tampico. It was a good thing, too, because the lawn mower I had was stolen out of my garage that I never kept locked. It was a good thing too, because it…
That Rakeish, Sideways Smile (-:
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Or… The Day Renée Montagne Used Valuable Airtime to Tell Me About a Computer Symbol’s Birthday Back when I was “dating” Wilbur, I swore I would never, ever wake up to morning radio. Will had his radio set to 98.9 and Johnny Dare’s morning show in Kansas City. You don’t need to actually listen to…
